



As much as we enjoy scouring through German newspapers, something inevitably gets lost in translation. However, the title of a story in Germany's Handelsblatt ePaper is clear: Volkswagen is considering building Porsche Cayennes at its new plant in the U.S.
While VW hasn't made a decision on the plant yet, it's been confirmed that the automaker is looking at locations in Alabama, Michigan and Tennessee to produce 150,000 units annually, including the Jetta and an all-new Passat-sized sedan. How the Cayenne fits into that equation remains a mystery, but the idea that VW and Audi could shift production of its Touareg and Q7 Stateside means that building the Cayenne in the U.S. is a distinct possibility.


Okay, guys. This isn't funny anymore. We all get that the Porsche Cayenne, though it has its talents, is no prize pig down at the beauty pageant. But this is just mean. Like a caricature of the Cayenne itself, we can applaud the go but shudder at sight of the show. Under the hood, Gemballa has primped and preened the twin-turbo V8 to produce somewhere in the neighborhood of 700 horsepower. It will also offer a 2WD conversion – that's got to be a first – to go with the severely dropped ride height and beefed-up suspension.
The mad-science plastic surgery is another story, however, as Gemballa opens up the Cayenne's mouth, adds a carbon-fiber hood insert, cuts open a whole mess of new vents, throws on some Ferrari-esque tail-lights and a set of roof-mounted brake lights to boot. Inside they've added fully-adjustable racing buckets front and back, separated by a strange-looking full-length center console. Maybe Gemballa was trying to prove a point when it decided to mix styling cues from the Carrera GT with its ugly step-sister the Cayenne. Whatever it is, we don't get it.



Like driving skills, the unfortunate reality is that good taste doesn't always accompany wealth. There are just too many people out there looking to make the flashiest splash, and it is now confirmed that one more of those yahoos is living in Moscow, Russia. We don't know much about this frightening conversion of a Porsche Cayenne, and we're not sure we really want to. To paraphrase Fiddler on the Roof, we hope and pray the czar keeps this one far away from us.
Thanks (we think) to Graham for the unfortunate tip. If you're a real glutton for punishment, you can hit the gallery below to see the monstrosity from all angles. Just be careful if the driver's backing up while you're checking out the tail and standing in the enormous blind spot, which shouldn't be too big a hindrance on Moscow's busy streets.

