The world's maddest battles usually earn a brief sobriquet: Red vs. Blue, Holyfield-Tyson, Lingerie Bowl. Although the battle we'll describe today isn't finished, the clash of HUMMER vs. Any Decent Off-roader – especially HUMMER vs. Jeep – has made so much noise on Autoblog alone that we decided it was time to investigate. Not having a Jeep at our disposal, we pitted an H2 against the Toyota Landcruiser on three trails in the California desert to find out if either of them had any quit – or if they'd keep going but complain about it.
It sure ain't pretty, though beauty, in this case, is likely in the eye of the beholder. A few years back, a new take on the taxi was provided by Standard Taxi, a company based in Troy, Michigan. The design for the purpose-built people hauler uses GM running gear and is able to haul four passengers in relative comfort. We hadn't heard a peep from the company until today when we learned that Standard is now working on negotiations with AM General to build the vehicle in its plant in Mishawaka, Indiana, where AM General builds the Hummer H2 SUV and SUT. So far, no announcements have been made regarding whether or not the plant would continue working full-time in the face of lagging Hummer sales, though we imagine that plenty of excess capacity is available. According to AM General, the deal would in no way impact the assembly of military Hummer models.
We can't say whether a production version of the Standard Taxi would feature the pushrod 4.3-liter V6 that the concept had underhood, though there are plenty of options from the GM parts-bin from which to pilfer. A Standard Taxi equipped with GM's 2-Mode hybrid system could prove to be extremely well-suited for taxi duty in some of the world's toughest environments.
Today is a movie day, it seems, and once again, it's General Motors in the thick of things. Via HISSTank comes a new set of photos from the G.I. Joe movie set. There, we see a couple of the modified HUMMER H2s that will be used, as well as the Saab Aero X concept. No word on which character's driving the latter. Storm Shadow, maybe? At least it'd match his threads. As for the HUMMERs, they are apparently equipped to traverse hedgerows. At least that's what we gather from those tacked-on rhino-style bumper mods. See more pics at HISSTank and mourn with us for the wholesale destruction of our childhood memories.
HUMMER's image has always been one of excessive excess. While much of that portrayal is due to GM's own marketing, the people who purchase the imposing 'utes – be they high-profile celebs or well-to-do suburbanites – have done more to define the brand than GM's marketing boffins ever could. But the General wants to change all that.
Mark LaNeve, GM's North American veep of sales, service and marketing, is spearheading a campaign that's trying to show HUMMERs in a different light; specifically vehicles to get a particular job done. "No one criticizes a bulldozer for its gas mileage. That's because it's built to do a job," laments LaNeve in a USAToday interview. Fair enough Mark, but a bulldozer has a single-minded purpose – moving earth – whereas HUMMERs aren't always being used to plug mud and move boats. They've become lifestyle vehicles that are often not used for their intended purpose – just like the majority of SUVs on the road.
Regardless, GM's recent ad campaigns attempt to show the HUMMER in a more functional light, depicting the overblown SUV hauling firefighting gear and helping out with natural disaster relief. "Purpose Built" is the new tagline, but at the end of the day, no amount of PR will help HUMMER if people continue to see them parked outside the local Starbucks.
The Hummer brand is all about strength and capability, but for some reason the smaller and less capable the Hummer, the better it sells. Talented motorcycle sketch artist Oberdan Bezzi must have had this in mind when he penned the Hummer H2 450 scooter, because the mini-cycle would likely fit in the pickup bed of the upcoming H3T. Bezzi borrowed several Hummer design queues for his moped, including the Hummer gas cap, chunky sheet metal, and we're guessing the seven bar grille. In this instance, the 2 in H2 stands for the amount of wheels and the 450 stands for Bezzi's imaginary 450 cc powerplant.
While we love Bezzi's imaginitive drawings, we're afraid his Hummer-branded scooter made some of our neurons misfire. We don't care how knobby the tires are, scooters and mud just don't mix. Hummer doesn't make scooters for the same reason we don't see Harley Davidson-branded roller skates. Jeep did make the Compass, but we digress. We'd change that opinion, however, if Governor Schwarzenegger drove the two-wheeler to all of his public speaking engagements.
