If you act now, you can purchase the 2001 Audi A4 Avant in the picture above. If you want the whole car, as is, it will cost you $2,500. If -- for reasons we can't fathom -- you want the car without the front bumper, it will cost you $2,350. If you want that same car, but don't want the wheels, well, that paperweight will cost you $2,000. Strike all three important components and the aftermarket stereo, and this fine piece of German engineering is yours for the bargain basement price of $1,300.
The caption in the photo above is due to the fact that its owner, Ben, believes the car is "boss" and intimidates other basic transportation, like a Ford F-350. But don't make a play for it until you've seen the rear. Specifically, the plank of old growth timber that's posing as a bumper. According to that bumper, Ben's treasure is in heaven. Yours, according to Ben, is in Cincinnati. If you put $5 bucks in the tank, he'll let you test drive it, and if you swing by you can shake his hand. Now that's boss.
Hot on the heels of the recent brandtag exercise that saw BMW drivers labeled as a-holes (and a lot of explanations and justifications in the comments), we have this classified ad from an M3 owner in Peoria, Arizona. Its starts off rather plainly, with a rundown of the aftermarket components with which the seller has graced.
And then the listing takes a left turn and heads straight for Mars when the seller writes "This car has gotten me laid so much it is ridiculous." After that, you get a rundown of his success with women, copious use of the word "pimp" as both noun and adjective, his workout routine and testosterone regimen, his success with women, tidbits on his "killer" anatomy, instructions on how to become "a Jedi pimp," and more of his success with women. And in case you didn't realize it, he states explicitly: "I'm a winner." A few subtle clues dropped here and there in the description reveal that the owner is parodying Brucie from Grand Theft Auto IV, but you wouldn't know it if you've never played the game.
We at Autoblog have a few questions: Who is this ladies' man they call John Connor? With the miraculous powers of this car, why isn't it at auction with Bonham's or RM? And what do they put in the water in Peoria, AZ? In the mean time, we're going to add "jedi pimp" to BMW's brandtag to save you the trouble.
