Q: What are a redneck's last words? A: "Hey y'all, watch this!" Only in this fine piece of reporting by CNN, the only (self-described) rednecks behaving badly are the ones having that third helping of funnel cake mixed with that seventh Bud Lite. No sir, in this here video, all the clunkers getting crashed are done-in by remote control.
Now, at first blush you might be a smidge disappointed that no amateur Wisconsin Evil Knievel types are hurling themselves off the cliff of a quarry towards both certain hospital time and everlasting glory. But, as the crashed cars pile up, it becomes pretty dang clear that Bob Moravitz – the brains behind the event – knows what the people want. Just like in Roman times, the people want carnage – and lots of it.
Somewhere, a father in Melbourne weeps. There were 16 Ferrari 360 Challenge Stradales imported to Australia and New Zealand. There are now 15. A proud dad gave his son the keys to his so-rare-it's-almost-extinct Ferrari, and his son got a little too frisky with the audacious redhead. She didn't appreciate his advances, he lost control of the situation, and that little redhead introduced him to a pole... at a high rate of speed by the looks of it.
And as if that didn't beat all, the kid had to call home. While news crews watched. And filmed. Only to have newspapers and blogs spread the story around the world. No word on what his father said, but it probably rhymed with "Why I oughta @#%$*&%!"
Police say the driver was speeding, which means he must not have seen these commercials. But now, at least, he has a theme song, so sing along: "To you other kids all across the land, take it from me, parents just don't understand..."
